Have you ever had a conversation that changed the way you saw yourself—or the world—forever?
That’s what working with a great coach can feel like.
A great coach doesn’t hand you answers. They help you discover them. They help you gain clarity, build momentum, and step into your potential with confidence and purpose.
But what exactly should you expect when working with a professional coach—and how do you know if you’ve found a good one?
Let’s start there.
The Coaching Landscape: Titles vs. Training
In today’s world, anyone can call themselves a coach. Some people complete a two-week course and print a certificate. Others have spent years mastering the craft—learning the neuroscience of change, refining their listening and questioning skills, and being mentored and evaluated by accredited professionals.
A professional coach accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), for example, has completed hundreds of hours of coach-specific training, supervised practice, and ethics review. They are trained to help clients think deeply, not think for them.
That’s an important distinction.
Coaches who haven’t had this depth of preparation often lean toward mentoring or consulting—giving advice or strategies. While there’s value in that, professional coaching is different: it’s a partnership that draws out your own wisdom and capability.
In other words, it’s less about “Here’s what I’d do” and more about “What’s most important to you—and how do you want to move forward?”
What You Should Get from Every Session
No two sessions are the same. But if you’re working with a great coach, you should walk away from every session having created, expanded, and shrunk something meaningful.
Let’s break that down.
1. Create
Each session should help you create something new—something that didn’t exist before your conversation.
You might create:
- Boundaries that protect your energy and time
- Partnership that deepens trust and collaboration
- New ideas or insights that change how you see your world
- Understanding of yourself or others
- Good habits that support consistent progress
- Self-actualization—the feeling of living more fully as you
- Adventure—the courage to try something new
- Alignment between your values, actions, and goals
- Purpose that motivates and sustains you
- Meaning that connects your work to something larger
A great coach is a co-creator—someone who holds a creative, generative space where new possibilities emerge.
2. Expand
Great coaching expands your world. It stretches your thinking and helps you see from new angles.
You might expand:
- Perspective, learning to see multiple truths instead of one
- Options and opportunities that you didn’t realize were available
- Your sense of your world—the system you live and lead in
- Understanding and appreciation for yourself and others
- Confidence in your ability to take action
- Love—not the romantic kind, but love as openness, compassion, and connection
- Relationships that become more genuine and productive
- Clarity about what matters most
- Motivation to follow through
- Autonomy—a stronger sense that you’re steering your own ship
- Intuition, your ability to trust your inner compass
You might also notice growth in creativity, courage, empathy, and your capacity for complexity. These are all signs your coaching is working.
3. Shrink
While growth gets the spotlight, shrinking is just as important. A great coach helps you reduce what’s getting in your way.
You might shrink:
- Stress and fear that keep you frozen
- Negative thinking loops
- Overwhelm from trying to do it all
- Defeat or self-doubt after setbacks
- Lethargy—the inertia that keeps you from starting
- Confusion about priorities
- Blind spots that distort your perception
- Compulsive behaviors that derail progress
- Perfectionism, people-pleasing, or imposter syndrome
You might not notice it right away, but over time, the inner noise gets quieter. What remains is clarity and forward motion.
What a Great Coach Actually Does
A great coach doesn’t fix you—they hold up a mirror so you can see more clearly.
They ask questions that slow you down just enough to notice what’s beneath your automatic thoughts and reactions. They help you distinguish what’s true from what’s merely familiar.
They’re also trained to listen beyond your words—to your tone, pace, energy, and unspoken values. They challenge your assumptions kindly but directly.
Sometimes you’ll leave a session energized; sometimes you’ll feel unsettled. Both are signs of real growth.
Coaching, when done well, creates a safe tension: the right balance between support and challenge. Too much comfort and you don’t grow; too much challenge and you shut down. A skilled coach dances in that space with you.
How to Know You’re Working with a Great Coach
Ask yourself these questions after a few sessions:
- Do I feel more self-aware and capable than before?
- Am I seeing patterns I couldn’t see before?
- Do I leave sessions with clarity, direction, and energy?
- Is my coach holding me accountable to my goals—not their agenda?
- Do I sense genuine partnership and confidentiality?
- Do I feel empowered, not pressured?
If the answer is yes to most of those, you’ve likely found a great coach.
If not—if your sessions feel vague, mostly one-sided, or you’re getting advice instead of insight—it might be time to seek a higher level of professionalism.
Why Professional Standards Matter
Professional coaches align with organizations like the International Coaching Federation (ICF), European Mentoring & Coaching Council (EMCC), or Association for Coaching (AC).
These organizations require coaches to:
- Complete accredited training programs
- Engage in supervised practice
- Abide by a strict code of ethics
- Commit to continuing education
For clients, that means your coach is trained not only in techniques, but in ethics, psychology, neuroscience, and the subtleties of human development. It’s the difference between someone who’s read a few books about coaching—and someone who’s built their craft through thousands of hours of real conversations.
Final Thoughts: Coaching as Partnership
Working with a great coach is like entering a partnership where the shared goal is your growth.
You bring your courage, your stories, your willingness to learn.
Your coach brings presence, curiosity, and a proven process to help you find your next edge.
When it’s working, you’ll feel it.
You’ll create what you’ve been missing, expand beyond what you thought possible, and shrink what’s been holding you back.
And over time, you’ll notice something powerful:
You’re not just changing what you do—you’re changing who you’re being.
That’s the real magic of coaching.
Reflection
If you’re already working with a coach, ask yourself:
“What am I creating, expanding, and shrinking in my sessions?”
If you’re considering coaching, look for a professional who treats this as both an art and a discipline—someone who partners with you, challenges you, and believes in your capacity to grow.
Because the right coaching relationship doesn’t just change your performance.
It changes your life.
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