The Selfishness of Great Leadership: How Leading Well Enriches Your Life

01.09.25 11:00 AM Comment(s) By David Koshinz

Leadership is often described as selfless—a role that requires giving, serving, and sacrificing for others. While these attributes are undeniably part of the equation, great leadership is also a profoundly selfish act. This isn’t selfishness in the negative sense of greed or disregard for others, but rather a recognition of the incredible personal rewards that come from leading well. When we lead with intention, integrity, and effectiveness, we not only transform those around us, but we also transform ourselves. Conversely, when we lead poorly—or fail to step into leadership at all—we miss out on these rich benefits, leaving our lives more fragmented, stressed, and unfulfilled.


The Benefits of Great Leadership

1. Confidence Through Strengths Alignment

Great leadership begins with a deep understanding of your strengths and the ability to align them with your actions. This alignment breeds confidence—not the arrogance of overestimating oneself, but the quiet assurance that comes from knowing you’re operating within your zone of genius. When you lead well, you feel capable, grounded, and purposeful. In contrast, poor leadership, marked by misaligned strengths or unclear direction, leads to insecurity and second-guessing. Confidence isn’t just a benefit; it’s the foundation for taking bold action and inspiring others.


2. Belonging Through Team Building

A leader who invests in building their team reaps the profound benefit of belonging. Leadership can be lonely when it’s approached with a command-and-control mindset. But when you foster collaboration, trust, and shared purpose, you create a sense of connection not just for your team, but for yourself. A well-built team becomes a source of support, camaraderie, and shared success. Note, I didn't say best friends or intimate partners, keep those seperate. In contrast, failing to prioritize team-building can leave a leader feeling isolated, burdened by the weight of responsibility.


3. Relevance Through Powerful Communication

Great leaders remain relevant by mastering the art of communication. Clear, impactful communication keeps you connected to your team, stakeholders, and the broader world. It ensures your vision resonates, your intentions are understood, and your actions are aligned. Poor communication, on the other hand, leads to misunderstanding, mistrust, and a sense of disconnection. The ability to articulate ideas powerfully not only strengthens your influence but also keeps you engaged and inspired.


4. Ease Through Inspiration

When you lead with inspiration, leadership feels less like a struggle and more like a flow state. Inspirational leaders cultivate energy and enthusiasm within their teams, which reduces resistance and fosters a culture of shared motivation. This creates a sense of ease—problems become challenges to solve together rather than burdens to bear alone. Conversely, uninspired leadership breeds frustration, fatigue, and constant firefighting, robbing both you and your team of joy and progress.


5. Effectiveness Through Proactive Problem-Solving

Effective leadership involves resolving challenges before they become problems. This proactive approach not only saves time and resources but also gives you peace of mind. Leaders who are reactive, always scrambling to address crises, experience chronic stress and diminishing returns. In contrast, being ahead of the curve fosters a sense of control and builds trust, allowing you to focus on long-term goals rather than short-term emergencies.


6. Satisfaction Through Deep Relationships

Leadership done well deepens your relationships, offering a profound sense of satisfaction. By investing in trust, empathy, and authentic connection, you enrich not only your professional life but also your personal one. Poor leadership, however, often erodes relationships, leaving you isolated and unfulfilled. Relationships are the essence of life, and great leadership strengthens them, creating a ripple effect of mutual growth and loyalty.


7. Alignment With Purpose

When you lead with purpose, every action feels meaningful. This alignment creates a sense of harmony between your personal and professional life, ensuring your energy is spent on what truly matters. Without purpose, leadership can feel empty—a series of tasks and obligations devoid of meaning. Purpose-driven leadership, however, infuses your life with clarity, energy, and direction.


8. Legacy That Outlasts You

Great leaders build legacies that extend far beyond their tenure. This isn’t about fame or recognition—it’s about creating systems, relationships, and values that continue to benefit others long after you’ve moved on. A meaningful legacy offers the deep fulfillment of knowing your contributions matter. In contrast, leaders who neglect this aspect often look back on their careers with regret, wondering what impact they truly made.


9. Creativity and Innovation

Leadership opens the door to creative thinking and innovation. By cultivating a mindset of curiosity and possibility, you not only solve problems but also uncover opportunities. The act of creating—whether it’s systems, products, or cultural shifts—feeds the human need for growth and contribution. Poor leadership stifles this creativity, leaving you stuck in cycles of routine and mediocrity.


10. Peace of Mind Through Self-Mastery

Perhaps the most personal benefit of great leadership is the peace of mind that comes from managing your emotions, mindset, and habits. Leadership challenges you to grow in self-awareness, regulate your impulses, and adopt productive behaviors. This personal discipline creates a sense of inner calm and resilience. Without it, leadership becomes a source of stress and burnout, draining your energy and diminishing your effectiveness.


The Contrast of Poor Leadership

When we fail to lead well—or choose not to lead at all—we lose access to these profound benefits. Poor leadership leaves us feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, and unfulfilled. It creates tension in relationships, stagnation in growth, and a persistent sense of “not enough.” The difference is stark: great leadership enriches your life; poor leadership diminishes it.


The Selfish Act of Leading Well

Acknowledging the personal benefits of leadership isn’t about diminishing its altruistic aspects—it’s about embracing the full picture. Leading well is a win-win: it elevates those around you while enriching your own life. It’s a selfish act in the best possible sense, a way of simultaneously giving and receiving. As you lead others to confidence, belonging, and purpose, you find those same gifts reflected back to you.

In the end, great leadership is about more than results or influence—it’s about creating a life of meaning, connection, and joy. By stepping into leadership with intention, you unlock not only the potential of those around you but also the incredible benefits of leading a life well-lived.

David Koshinz

Share -