When Leaders Become the Center of Everything
Imagine this: It’s 11:37 a.m.and your lunch is still untouched. Three team members are queued outside your door, two more are pinging you on Slack, and your calendar is double-booked. You hired bright people precisely so you wouldn’t be the bottleneck—yet here you are, holding up every decision. What happened?
Welcome to the quiet force of delegating up—when the work that should flow outward to capable colleagues circles back to you instead. Leaders often say they want bold, self-directed teams, but their everyday behaviors broadcast a different message. People notice the broadcast far more than they hear the words.
1. What “Delegating Up” Looks Like
- Definition. Upward (or reverse) delegation occurs when a direct report pushes a responsibility or decision back to their manager rather than owning it themselves.
- Tell-tale signs. “Quick questions” that become full projects, requests for sign-off on tiny details, or recurring “just to be safe” approvals.
- The hidden payoff. For the employee, it removes risk; for the leader, it provides a dopamine hit of relevance—each answer proves they’re still the smartest person in the room.
2. Mindsets & Behaviors That Invite the Problem
| Mindset | Typical Behaviors | Unintended Signal |
|---|---|---|
| Caretaking Hero“I don’t want them to struggle.” | Jumping in to fix instead of coach, answering before asking questions, staying late to “finish it right.” | It’s safer (and faster) to let the boss solve it. |
| One-Up / Punitive“Mistakes here are costly—better run it by me.” | Hyper-critical feedback, public corrections, competing with staff’s ideas. | If I try and fail, I’ll pay for it. Better delegate up. |
| Need to Feel Indispensable“They still need me.” | Insisting on being cc’d on every email, approving minutiae, holding knowledge “keys.” | The boss expects to be in the middle of everything. |
“When the best leader’s work is done, the people will say, We did it ourselves.” — Lao Tzu
3. Why Intentions & Actions Split Apart
- Theory-in-use vs. espoused theory. Chris Argyris showed that what leaders say (espoused) often diverges from what they do (in-use) because underlying assumptions remain unexamined. (infed.org)
- Brain wiring for control. Neuroscience finds that uncertainty triggers the brain’s threat circuitry; intervening restores a sense of control and a short-term stress release—at the cost of long-term capacity.
- Rewards & recognition. Organizations still celebrate the “hero problem-solver.” Promotions, bonuses, and praise can reinforce over-involvement.
- Lack of psychological safety. When people feel unsafe and fear career-limiting mistakes, they default to the “safe” option of getting the boss to decide. Self-Determination Theory notes that autonomy plus safety fuels performance; without it, motivation shrinks. (selfdeterminationtheory.org)
- Time pressure. Saying “just let me do it” feels expedient in a crunch, but teaches teams to escalate every crunch in the future.
4. The Cost of Being the Center
- Bottleneck burnout. Leaders who insert themselves everywhere become what HBR calls “Bottleneck Bosses,” driving attrition among high performers who can’t advance. (hbr.org)
- Slowed innovation. Decisions gated at the top eliminate the diverse thinking that sparks new ideas.
- Talent stagnation. People can’t grow muscles they never get to use; capability plateaus, engagement drops.
- Strategic myopia. Time spent firefighting steals from big-picture thinking.
5. Five Practical Shifts to Move Out of the Middle
| Step | What to Try This Week | Why It Works |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Mirror & Map | Keep a one-day log: when did you step in, decide, or “save” something? What did it cost you? | Visibility makes the habit conscious. |
| 2. Ask Before You Answer | Respond to every “What should I do?” with “What options have you considered?” | Nudges ownership; demonstrates trust. |
| 3. Define Guardrails | Clarify what decisions require your input (budget >$5k, legal risk, brand impact) and document the rest. | Removes ambiguity that fuels safety-seeking escalations. |
| 4. Calibrate Risk with Mini-Experiments | Let a team member run a contained pilot; debrief openly—no blame. | Builds competence and psychological safety simultaneously. |
| 5. Celebrate Ownership Publicly | Shout-out those who solved problems without you. Tie recognition to taking responsibility, not escalating it. | Reinforces new norms culturally. |
Research note: A 2023 meta-analysis found that when employees perceive higher autonomy support, performance and well-being rise significantly—effects strongest when leaders intentionally step back. (selfdeterminationtheory.org)
6. Beyond the Workplace—Why It Matters Everywhere
- Opens opportunity. Freeing your calendar allows you to network, mentor, or pursue strategic partnerships.
- Develops successors. A team practiced in autonomy is succession-ready, protecting organizational continuity.
- Enhances reputation. Leaders known for growing leaders attract talent and invitations—speaking gigs, board roles, career pivots.
Reflection & Invitation
Leadership is gravitational: your behaviors decide where the center sits. This week, choose one question you often answer for others and replace it with a coaching prompt. Notice what shifts—for them and for you.
What’s the very next problem you’ll refuse to let orbit back to your desk?
(Share your experience in the comments—or reach out if you’d like to explore building leader-led cultures that thrive without a single hero at the hub.)
Are you solving all the problems? Stop!!!
🚦 Leadership check-in: Are you really empowering your team, or have you quietly become the hub every decision must pass through?
If “quick questions” evolve into full projects on your desk, chances are your team is delegating up—and your own habits might be encouraging it.
Look for these signals
• You jump in to “save the day” instead of coaching.
• Everyone cc’s you… on everything.
• People won’t move until they get your stamp of approval.
When that happens, you get short-term control—but pay in long-term burnout, slower innovation, and stagnant talent.
Try this for one week:
- Ask before you answer: “What options have you considered?”
- Set guardrails: spell out which decisions truly need you (> $5k, legal, brand risk) and let go of the rest.
- Spotlight ownership: publicly celebrate teammates who solve problems without you.
Leaders known for growing leaders—rather than being the hero—free up time for strategy, build succession benches, and attract top talent.
Your turn: Which task will you refuse to let orbit back to your desk this week?
Drop it in the comments and inspire the rest of us.
#Leadership #TeamAutonomy #DelegatingUp
